How to grow old gracelessly Greek style

Greeks (or American’s of Greek descent) do not age according to my mother.  My mother never celebrated her birthday around us kids.  I knew it was sometime in March since she was in possession of a birthstone ring, but the year and actual date was anybody’s guess. She figured that if you didn’t have a birthday cake overloaded with candles, she could just forget about it and be any age she desired.

Herein lies the problem with hiding your age…eventually, it comes to the point where you have to start lying about your kid’s ages.  You see someone who is 45 years old cannot possibly have a child who it 40.  So they become 25.  As the kids get older and older it gets harder and harder to hide your age.  God help you when the grandkids come along.

Sometimes you just stay silent and don’t mention that they are even your children.  Hopefully, they won’t call you Mom in front of anyone. You also may just want to limit your lengthy friendships.  I mean seriously, Mom felt it’s best to stay away from youthful relationships.  They know.  You say that is excessive…maybe so but it worked for her. 

That is why my mother never allowed my father to have a birthday either.  I mean, at some point someone may wonder why a balding man in his 60’s who isn’t a millionaire is married to a woman in her 40’s.  She kept her age under lock and key like it was a buried treasure.  

The problem with this tactic is that there is always that someone who knows and is prepared to divulge one’s real age.  I went to my mom’s much older sister’s funeral several years after my mother passed away.  While there, I looked at one of the funeral cards listing her birth date and a quote.  On this card, she listed herself as many years younger than my mother. 

An older cousin, who grew up with these women, pointed to the card and poked me in the side with a smirk. For all posterity, everyone she knew and her immediate family thought she was younger than the youngest member of the family.  Paradox…maybe? But definitely growing old gracelessly Greek style.