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How to grow old gracelessly Greek style

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Greeks (or American’s of Greek descent) do not age according to my mother.  My mother never celebrated her birthday around us kids.  I knew it was sometime in March since she was in possession of a birthstone ring, but the year and actual date was anybody’s guess. She figured that if you didn’t have a birthday cake overloaded with candles, she could just forget about it and be any age she desired. Herein lies the problem with hiding your age…eventually, it comes to the point where you have to start lying about your kid’s ages.  You see someone who is 45 years old cannot possibly have a child who it 40.  So they become 25.  As the kids get older and older it gets harder and harder to hide your age.  God help you when the grandkids come along. Sometimes you just stay silent and don’t mention that they are even your children.  Hopefully, they won’t call you Mom in front of anyone. You also may just want to limit your lengthy friendships.  I mean seriously, Mom felt it’s
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How to age gracelessly part 3 – where did I put that person, place or thing?

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Ok, so we’ve discussed knowledge, but the brain stores more than knowledge.  When I first realized I was getting older, I discovered a strange thing.  I could remember what outfit I wore on Halloween in 1960 but I couldn’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday!  What kind of cruel joke is that?  After you reach that certain age, words and memories become a bit elusive.  How many times have you run upstairs for something, and then stand there scratching your head wondering what it was you were after.  You go back downstairs and stand in the same spot you were in before you went upstairs and like magic, you remember.  You run back upstairs quickly, hoping you won’t have to repeat this activity!  Then again, maybe it's nature's way to get you to exercise more. Names are another example of aging gracelessly.  Do you sometimes bump into someone and casually start to talk hoping that something will jar your memory and remind you who the heck he or she is?  And you ar
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How to grow old gracelessly part 2

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The last time we spoke, I mentioned that I would give you the good points of aging.  The first of which is knowledge.  I didn’t get these fine wrinkles and gray hairs (although dyed) for nothing.  Knowledge is a valuable commodity in this day and age.  But…you think there must be a catch.  Well, you are right.  We know a lot but just like Cassandra of old Greek mythology, no one believes us.  So we sit there secure in our “been there, done that”, bubble as our grown children scoff at our suggestions and advice.  So it’s best to just keep our mouths closed.  They will just have to learn for themselves.  Guess that is the way of the world.  Live and learn.   And speaking of Greek mythology, there are all sorts of grown children that didn’t listen to their older and much wiser parents. One is the story of Icarus. When his father made him some wings he warned him not to fly too close to the sun.  Did he listen?  Of course not, he flew too close to the sun and the wax melted
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How to grow old gracelessly

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So I am gracelessly writing this in advance of my impending twilight years.  I always feel a bit down when birthdays loom.  They say when something bothers you to write it down.  Even if no one ever reads this but me, maybe it will ward off the doldrums. The dictionary defines gracelessly with many negative words. Words like impolitely, rudely, offensively and even clumsily describe it’s meaning.  Don’t get me wrong.  I have no intention to be rude or offensive.  But to be honest, can you really define aging as anything less than offensive?  How can one describe aging as being graceful? The dictionary does an about-face with the word graceful, using words like elegant, charming and stylish. So I won’t be aging gracefully. Seriously, I could never quite get the connection about aging as a graceful process.  Is it charming for your eyebrows to grow thin with a smattering of gray hairs?  And when you try and cover those errant grays with a pencil or the new-fangled eyebrow po
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